HONK

I know the world being a small place now, not physically, means many of you who read this will already have been and experienced what I'm about to write about. Horns on Vehicles. From the lowly tinkle of the push bike, to the big bassy, poop your keks, fog horns of the trucks; India's roads are a cacophany of horniness! It was not so long ago that I obtained the right to leagally drive a motorised vehicle in the UK. So I remember that your horn is to be used to advise other road users of your presence. Oh my have the Indians taken this to heart.

As far as I can gather it goes like this, get in your car, start engine, sound your horn, pull out. (Don't indicate just sound the horn and commit.) Approaching a vehicle you want to pass, sound horn. Passing the vehicle, sound horn. If someone's in your way, sound horn. If someone moves out of your way, sound horn in thanks. If somebody won't move then sound horn more. Still no joy, sit on the horn till said annoyance has moved. Coming round a corner sound, sound horn. Coming round a corner, sound horn. Crossing a bridge that's wide enough for one vehicle, sound horn but never slow down.

That last little ditty is key to it all 'never slow down'. The goal of most journeys is to arrive at your intended destination. For an Indian driver once the car is in forward motion slowing down, and dare I say coming to a complete halt, is a true sign of weakness. Slowing down causes the largest singular use of the horn. Want to upset or disgrace a bus driver just cause him to drive under 40km an hour. He'll get out his super horn and blow you off the road!

So needless to say it's noisy on the roads. From the tintinnabulation of the bikes to the resonating base tones of the trucks you are constantly reminded of where you are. I also realised that the over eagerness to use the horn could also manifest from the fact that at least 50% of road users are drunk!

Plains, trains and auto-rickshaws

Here it is the ramble of India has begun. I've only covered a paltry 2600km thus far so not really going a great distance to bring you tales. I want to stay away from the normal day one blah blah, day two yadda yadda. But then you'll not really know what I've been doing. Well since I've arrived here I have probably spent more time in a motorised vehicle than anything else. A variety of different types. Some feel safer than others, but then the others allow all your senses to be assaulted at once!

Delhi was a clean and sanitised affair due to the worlds media being in attendence for the Commonwealth games. This was a little disappointing if i'm honest. Especially when your told such mad stories about the place from everyone else. I'm sure i'll get the full experience when i head back up there in December. I mean I was on the underground zipping from place to place. Not what I expected at all.

My hospitality upon arrival has been second to none. I'm being spoilt by new friends and new Amma's everywhere i go. I'm in Kerala with beaches close by. I'm off shopping for the local male dress called a Lungi tomorrow. More countries where they don't feel the need to wear pants. Just wrap some cloth around you and bob's your uncle. Life will be less sweaty very shortly.



Delhi Train Station



Hang out with your wang out!

Cormacko enjoying the Indian plains.

Train dinners. The wee tub was called ice cream. It wasn't cold or sealed neddless to say we didn't eat it.

Women working the paddy fields.

Somewhere in India

Another stop at an Indian railway station.

Enjoying the 'high' speed train.

I thought I'd seen long trains in Canada. I think India pips them to the post.

Cormacko tucking into a coconut, which he got from the tree. That he expertly climbed with a ladder!

A temple in North Paravur, where we're currently residing with Vizzy and family.

The next logical step....

As everyone will know, life, more so the constraints put upon ones, by society, can be massive. For this reason, I have started part two of 'Get No Appropriate Results' or GNAR for short. Part one was spent languidly passing time in a bubble in North America. That bubble burst for me. I went from a floaty world of insular ignorance to a revelational, heart breaking and warming home stay. But now it's time for me to get back on it. I slipped into the mundane for more than I would have chosen. But long enough to appreciate where I'm going. 


Adventure for some people is a three day bender, a trip to a new shop, a smile from a cute girl, hitting your targets or beating your goals. For me it's more. It's the unplanned excursion to a place of untold wonders and beauty. It's living by your heart and escaping from your mind. Shirking off the responsibilities that society tries to place around your neck. The weight of which slowly pulls you down to the abyss of normality. I will be there one day, I'm sure.


But in the mean time, back to my adventure. The words, pictures, stories, thoughts and whatever else appear herein are entirely not fact nor fiction, truth nor lies, right nor wrong. They are purely the ramblings of me on my adventures. They mean no offence if any is caused. I hope they will make you smile and get an idea of what goes on over the next stage of this thing i call GNAR. It will all begin in about three weeks.


Before I go I will be totally crass and thank my parents for being so awesome. Allowing me to still stay at home when I'm far too old to be doing that! To all my friends everywhere some who I've seen others I've not. I love you all. I have been shelled up in Perth wishing I could have come and seen you all more. I know you'll all understand that you are never far from my thoughts and can always bring a smile to my face, present or not. So thanks for that. Jenny and Peter you know me enough to know what it is that I should write here.


The next time i ramble I'll be in India. WHOOP WHOOP!